long time not update my bloggiee~ and now im come back ! my blog has been updated! read my blog ! it's fact ! real from my heart ~

I'm afraid to fall in love

Don't make me love someone who doesn't love me

bcz it's really really painful !

god I'm afraid of getting hurt again because of love

let me wait for the right time when I was ready to fall in love again

and opened my heart.

sometimes I feel alone and need someone who wants me to love
sometimes I asked myself ..
Is there true love?
if true love is destiny., why I couldn't feel it and holding it?

oh God

I'm afraid to believe in love
and I will no longer able to cry
because every time remembering
the one I love, always leaving me..

and I don't want to fall in love again

by : a n i i ~ (kimmyberry)

it's real from my heart !

Love that never was~ reading this NOW !!

Love That Never Was

Monalisa Minz

It was the first year of my college. We were in the same class but he never saw me. One night i was crying by my hostel window missing my friends back at home and this was the first time he saw me. It was like we fell in love.

We kept on looking at each other for a few minutes when a flash of lightning brought us to reality.

The chemistry was beyond our understanding. We had never felt such a strong pull towards each other. but the pull was for sure. slowly the eye locks started increasing and it became a common feature of the campus. our love was budding slowly. and it was something that both of us liked. i thought i was in love. 

But reality crashed right in front of me one night. It was a similar night the day when we first saw each other. we were working on the same project. and it was like everything was awesome. But that stormy night was different from the rest. As i entered the common room i heard him talking on the phone. he was speaking to his friend. He said that all that he was having with me was fun and there was no such hassle of love or things like that. it was a short fling.

Within a few moments the earth slipped below my feet and i was numb for a second. the first time in my life i was at loss of words. i did not know where i went wrong. it was just that the guy that i had chosen had never loved me. All this time i thought i was in love but it was a ll a short fling for that person. it was mainly coz he had never loved me. and i thought i was in love with him. for months i kept on trying to figure where i went wrong but all that i got in return were empty answers.

Today i have become strong. i don't cry as usual but the old memories very often hit on the shores of my mind. and in one part of my heart i still love him for he was the first person i ever loved and first love cannot be forgotten soon.

Let me Love You

Once upon a time, there was once a guy who was very much in love with this girl. This romantic guy folded 1,000 pieces of papercranes as a gift to his girl. Although, at that time he was just a small executive in his company, his future doesn't seemed too bright, they were very happy together. Until one day, his girl told him she was going to Paris and will never come back. She also told him that she cannot visualise any future for the both of them, so let's go their own ways there and then... heartbroken, the guy agreed.
When he regained his confidence, he worked hard day and night, slogging his body and mind just to make something out of himself. Finally with all these hardwork and with the help of friends, this guy had set up his own company...
"You never fail until you stop trying." he always told himself. "I must make it in life!"
One rainy day, while this guy was driving, he saw an elderly couple sharing an umbrella in the rain walking to some destination. Even with the umbrella, they were still drenched. It didn't take him long to realise those were his ex-girlfriend's parents. With a heart in getting back at them, he drove slowly beside the couple, wanting them to spot him in his luxury sedan. He wanted them to know that he wasn't the same anymore, he had his own company, car, condo, etc. He had made it in life!
Before the guy can realise, the couple was walking towards a cemetary,and he got out of his car and followed them...and he saw his ex-girlfriend, a photograph of her smiling sweetly as ever at him from her tombstone... and he saw his precious papercranes in a bottle placed beside her tomb. Her parents saw him. He walked over and asked them why this had happened. They explained, she did not leave for France at all. She was stricken ill with cancer. In her heart, she had believed that he will make it someday, but she did not want her illness to be his obstacle ... therefore she had chosen to leave him.
She had wanted her parents to put his papercranes beside her, because, if the day comes when fate brings him to her again he can take some of those back with him. The guy just wept ...the worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them but knowing you can't have them and will never see them again.
The End."
A tragic story that perhaps happens only in the movies. At the end of the day, money is money is money but love is divine. In our quest for our material wealth, take time to make time for our loved ones. There will be a time when we have only memories to cling to.
Take this weekend to show our "love" to all that are close to us.

KISS ME (G-Na)

I don’t know when it was
From the moment that I saw you
Every minute, every second, I keep on thinking about you
What you are doing
Oh no…
Where you are right now

I look here and there
This and that
I keep on liking you
I think I am going to go crazy
I wonder if you know the way feel
I wonder the way my heart feels

Day after day every time I look at you I always want to wait
I only want to know you and love you
Even spending time on love is a waste
I don’t want to do anything without you
Every day
From the moment I open my eyes I want to see you to see you
Now I can’t go on one day without you
I just want to hear you say you love me
I love you every day; only love you
The two of us
Woo baby..
What if you were mine? Just imagining it
Makes me feel nervous, I think I am going to go crazy
Oh…
I’m going to run to you and confess

My hands are shaking because I am my speechless, holding my breath
I become speechless and hold my breath Your two hands are holding my shaking hands
I think I’m going to cry
Did you just confess to me?
Will you always protect and only look at me?
When I cry because of you, will you promise hug me?
This is the moment that I have longed for
I can’t believe that this is really happening
Are you going to look at and protect me every day?
I love you too much for us to be friends
So can you please tell me that one word, I love you right now?
I love every day, only love me,
Will you kiss me?

BAD WISHES !

this's a sad song !

Cha Soo Kyung – Bad Wishes Lyrics

neomu neol saranghadabwa

neol bomyeon uteuryeoku haedo nunmulna

sirheo ne nunsoke bichwojin nae moseubi sirheo

heuryeojir neoui maeum gata

hanttaen apeugil paraetji

ttaeronun nega pulhaenghagil bileosseo

keujeo neoreul aneul iyuga pilyohaesseotnabwa

apayo nal chajnun neonikka

tto dasi sarangeun yoksimeul mandeuleo

keu sarang ttaemune modeun geol irheul sudo itneunde

neol saranghalsurok nal mileonaelsurok

nae motdoin paraemi neomaneul parabogehae

hanttaen apeugil paraentji

ttaeronun michidorok ulgil bileosseo

jinan seulpeun sarangjochado sarangira midneun

ni moseub gyeondil suka eobseo

tto dasi sarangeun apeumeul mandeuleo

neo dagagalsurok modeun geol irheul geotman gateunde

neol saranghalsurok nal mileonaelsurok

neomaneul wonhaneun nae motdoin paraemi seulpeo

(jikeum naega haneun sarangeul irol su eobtda haedo

gaseumi teojil deut apayo)

bogo sipeo gajigo sipeo

nae motdoin baraemiketjiman

neol saranghaeseo mianhae

TRANSLATION !

Translation not 100% accurate

Love you very much

I try to smile but I’m crying

Hate it, yes as the snow shines,I hate my reflection

You clouded my mind/heart

The painful memories fade

Every now and then I wished for unhappiness

I just need to guess your heart

You hurt me, but its not you

I want to create the love again

Because of love,I’m willing to lose everything

The more I love you, the more you push me away

I’m bad to hope to have you all by myself

The painful memories fade

Sometimes I madly cry and wish

I still believe in love even though the previous love is sad

I can’t bear not to see you/your appearance

The love created pain again

I lose everything just by getting closer (to you)

The more I love you,the more you push me away

I’m bad to hope to have you all by myself

(Now if I can’t reach out for my love

My heart hurts so much its exploding)

I miss you I want you

I’m bad to hope this but

I’m sorry that I love you

T E A R S

They say memories are golden,
Well, maybe that is true;
I never wanted memories,
I only wanted you.

A million times I needed you,
A million times I cried;
If love alone could have saved you,
You never would have died.

In life I loved you dearly,
In death I love you still;
In my heart you hold a piece
No one could ever fill.

But now I know you want me
To mourn for you no more,
To remember the happy times
Life still has much in store.

Since you'll never be forgotten
I pledge to you today;
A hallowed place within my heart
Is where you'll always stay.

If tears could build a stairway
And heartache make a lane;
I'd walk the path to heaven
And bring you back again.

Our friendship chain is broken,
and nothing seems the same;
But as God calls us one by one,
The chain will link again.

I've been awake for days- I can't sleep

The thought of losing you; Cuts me deep

My heart is crying out for you

Will I have- to come home to?

I need you here.

Right now I'm living in my darkest fear,

My head hurts- I can't stop the ringing in my ear.

It's feels like I'm crying blood instead of tears,

What the hell is happening to me- after all these years?

Can't count the tears; There's too many.

I need to feel love. Do you still have any?

I'm dead inside- I don't wanna breathe.

I can't stop you; If you want to leave.

All I feel is the pain,

Somehow it brings comfort to my brain.

I don't want to go on without you,

I don't know what to do.

There's a hole in my heart- A sharp pain in my head.

Something is missing inside; I feel like I'm dead.

Kiss away my hurt, remove my fear,

I don't know why I need you here.

Here comes that same old familiar pain, again.

I'm too dead to live, too alive to die,

All I ever seem to ask is "why?"; God, why?

My whole life seems like it's crashing down,

How can someone live with their heart torn out?

Please! Someone out there come save me.

Have I finally- Gone crazy?

Here I am broken, fragile- but still a man.

I've fought for life for so long; I'm dead right where I stand.

God, please don't leave me like this!

I need you to be here; someone answer my wish.

Take away the fears- I have inside,

Can't count the tears- God knows that I have tried.

I'm wounded- I can't walk

I can't call out to you; We don't talk,

I've beg you not to leave,

When I'm gone don't grieve.

I can't sleep- I wish I could die.

I can't live in this emotional suicide.

It's hard to fight for what I can't see,

I need to learn to just believe.

I'm empty and it's something I can no longer hide,

Can't count the tears- That have yet to be cried.

Before I accepted  
The life of aspiration,
My tears were the tears
Of real sorrow.
Now that I have accepted
The life of aspiration,
My tears are not tears of sorrow
But tears of real joy.

~

SPREAD ITS WINGS~

Although, I'm inexperienced,
instead of being worried,
I wish someone would hug me silently.

Although it's hard for me,
if I'm sick for a moment,
I hope my dreams can get me back on my feet.

Open my wings
and try to fly to the sky.
Goodbye to tears and goodbye to the pain
I won't cry anymore.

Open my wings
and yell to the world with all my strength.
I won't be the same as yesterday,
if I fly with you.

Although I'm exhausted at times,
I can't give up now,
this is the beginning, look over me,
I'm not scared anymore.

Oh! Yo! Say bye bye bye to tears!
I can endure it. I don't cry.
Fly to the sky like the birds.
Like the stars that shines brightly in the night sky.
My dream, a future, hope, and faith are like precious jewels.
I don't care what work comes to me.
Smile brightly, it's ok.

Regrets.
For me I'll risk everything
for that day


Like this I (I~)
can smile,
if I'm with you.